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Happenings » FW: Forwards » Fwd: Why did the chicken cross the road...
Fwd: Why did the chicken cross the road...
- Author:
- Submitted by Ryan
- Date Published:
- October 14, 2004
Why did the chicken cross the road...
George Bush's Answer:
We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know
if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is either with
us or it is against us. There is no middle ground here.
John Kerry's Answer:
While serving in Vietnam, I was in favor of the chicken crossing the road.
Then later I realized that there were those who needed the chicken on this side
of the road. Now I would like to see the chicken on the other side of the
road, unless of course it would be better served to be on this side of the road.
Ideally, I think the chicken should be in the middle of the road.
Bill Gates' Answer:
I have just released eChicken 2004, which will not only cross roads, but will
lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook - and, of
course, Internet Explorer is an inextricable part of eChicken.
Martha Stewart's Answer:
No one called to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing
order at the farmer's market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a
certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.
Dr. Seuss' Answer:
Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad?
Yes, the chicken crossed the road, But why it crossed, I've not been told!
Ernest Hemingway's Answer:
To die. In the rain. Alone.
Grandpa's Answer:
In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told us
that the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.
Barbara Walters' Answer:
Isn't that interesting? In a few moments we will be listening to the chicken
tell, for the first time, the heartwarming story of how it experienced a
serious case of molting and went on to accomplish its life-long dream of crossing
the road.
Ralph Nader's Answer:
The chicken's habitat on the original side of the road had been polluted by
unchecked industrialist greed. The chicken did not reach the unspoiled habitat
on other side of the road because it was crushed by the wheels of a
gas-guzzling SUV.
Jerry Seinfield's Answer:
Why does anyone cross a road? I mean, why doesn't anyone ever think to ask,
"What the heck was this chicken doing walking around all over the place
anyway?"
Pat Buchanan's Answer:
To steal a job from a decent, hard working American.
Jerry Falwell's Answer:
Because the chicken was gay! Isn't it obvious? Can't you people see the
plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to the "other side."
That's what they call it -- the other side. Yes, my friends, that chicken is
gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay, too. I say we boycott
all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media
whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like "the other side."
John Lennon's Answer:
Imagine all the chickens crossing roads in peace.
Aristotle's Answer:
It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
Saddam Hussein's Answer:
This was an unprovoked act of rebellion, and we were quite justified in
dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.
Captain Kirk's Answer:
To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.
Bill Clinton's Answer:
I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What do you mean by chicken?
Could you define chicken, please?
The Bible's Answer:
And God came down from the heavens, and He said unto the chicken, "Thou shalt
cross the road." And the chicken crossed the road, and there was much
rejoicing.
Albert Einstein's Answer:
Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the
chicken?
Sigmund Freud's Answer:
The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road
reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.
L.A.P.D.'s Answer:
Give us ten minutes with the chicken and I'll find out.
Richard Nixon's Answer:
The chicken did not cross the road. I repeat, the chicken did NOT cross the
road.
Buddha's Answer:
If you ask this question, you deny your own chicken nature.
Joseph Stalin's Answer:
I don't care. Catch it. I need its eggs to make my omelet.
Louis Farrakhan's Answer:
The road, you will see, represents the black man. The chicken crossed the
"black man" in order to trample him and keep him down.
The Pope's Answer:
That is only for God to know.
Emily Dickenson's Answer:
Because it could not stop for death.
O.J. Simpson's Answer:
It didn't. I was playing golf with it at the time.
